So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
