Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
