would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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