Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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