All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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