i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
