Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
