you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
