I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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