oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
