I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
