I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
