This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
