This girl is more easily done than said...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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