So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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