We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
