i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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