It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
