just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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