Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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