Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize