remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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