I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
