I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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