do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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