Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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