did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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