After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
