Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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