google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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