Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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