Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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