i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
