I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
