Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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