next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
