My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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