And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
