So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
