just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
