no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
