Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
