he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
