FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
