we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love you. Go after that dick
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
