She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize