I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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