if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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