i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
