If i come over, it means nothing
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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