you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
