Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
