come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
