chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
