Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
