He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
