I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
