Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
