cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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