Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
