so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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