so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
