he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You took a bar mat shot.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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