smell my finger.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
