he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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