evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
