Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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