Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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