You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
worst night to have a conscience
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
